I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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