i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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