Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
