Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
okay pat passed out under dana's car
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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