You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
