Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
