dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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