is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Someone shit on the floor
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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