brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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