Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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