Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
