When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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