Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
