Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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