would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
