just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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