u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
