You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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