If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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