The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
