I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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