Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
