I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
