There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize