it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize