Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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