i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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