She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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