i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i will never coherently bang her
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
