Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
