i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
