They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
