Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
