I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
