Small penises have feelings too.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize