do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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