Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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