Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
