i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
