Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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