Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
