he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
