That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
