I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
