What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
