If i could tip my vagina, i would.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
