She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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