they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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