I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
