Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively

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(954): View more from Florida

a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

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(705): View more from Ontario

Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"

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(314): View more from Missouri

hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?

(636): View more from Missouri

Yup.

(314): View more from Missouri

Yup.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.

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(917): View more from New York City

Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I could have done it in 2

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(252): View more from North Carolina

You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact

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