whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
