I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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