i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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