dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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