Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
