Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
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He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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