Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
