That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
