wake up i wanna do it froggy style
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
