Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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