From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
