I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
