could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
