You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
