That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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