Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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